


Red Like Roses

by CrayolaRainbow



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, GTA AU, Gen, Kid Fic, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Ray leaves, au where ray has silver eyes, sorry raywood shippers its mostly just mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-06-10 07:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6946114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrayolaRainbow/pseuds/CrayolaRainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all starts with an empty bed, a red blanket, and silver eyes</p>
<p>(Or: Ray leaves without saying goodbye, and accidentally leaves behind a newborn baby)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ryan

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to MadlyVagabonded for beta'ing, and thanks to everyone in the Ladies of RT Facebook group who offered to beta this.

Ryan wakes up in the middle of the night, throat bone dry and sore all over. He rolls over to see if Ray has made it to bed yet, but he’s greeted by a cold, empty spot where Ray should be. It doesn’t surprise him; Ray’s insomnia often keeps him up long past “normal” waking hours.

Ryan groans as he pulls himself out of bed. He pauses to see if he can hear the sounds of Ray playing something in the living room. Nothing. He must be on his DS, probably sprawled across the couch.

Ryan pulls his boxers before leaving the room, trying to be as quiet as possible. Ray probably just fell asleep on the couch like an idiot instead of coming back to bed.

The house is quiet as he pads into the kitchen. Ryan grabs a diet coke from the fridge, and winces at the loud crack the can makes when he opens it. Ryan heads into the living room to try and coax Ray into coming back to bed with him.

But Ray’s not there. No dim glow of the DS, no lump on the couch where Ray should be.

Ryan runs back to their room, flicking on lights as he goes. Ryan flings open the closet door and pops the latch on the false back that hides their weapons stash.

He does a quick inventory. All his masks are there, his knives, guns, flare guns. Everything. It's all exactly where he left it after their last ‘outing’

Ray’s stuff on the other hand is gone. No pink sniper rifle. No fireworks launcher, and all the ammo is gone too.

Ryan gets up and checks under Ray’s pillow for the pistol he knows Ray keeps in case of emergencies. It’s not there. 

There is no doubt in Ryan’s mind. Ray is gone.

Ryan wanders the house, not sure exactly what he’s looking for. A note, maybe. But a quick search turns up nothing.

He’s in the kitchen grabbing another Diet Coke when the doorbell rings. Ryan chokes on the drink in surprise and sprays soda _everywhere_ . He pats himself dry as fast as he can, before grabbing one of the pistols stashed in the kitchen.

Ryan flicks the safety off and points the gun through the door, ready to shoot anyone who’s stupid enough to ring someone's doorbell while it’s still dark out.

He cracks open the door. “Hello?”

There’s no one there. Ryan flicks the safety off and tucks the pistol into his waistband. “Anyone there?” He looks up and down the deserted street trying to spot the ding dong ditcher.

Ryan catches a flash of movement in the corner of his eye and whips around. Before he can do anything, he’s distracted by something whimpering.

He looks down and he's surprised to see a red lump at his feet. At first Ryan thinks that someone just dumped their cat on his porch and covered it with a blanket, but the longer he stares at it, the more it starts sounding like a baby and less like a cat.

Ryan frowns and bends down to pick it up. It definitely doesn't feel like a cat. He grabs the corner of the blanket and gingerly pulls it back.

The red screwed up face of a baby greets him. It opens its eyes to look at Ryan, and he almost drops it in shock.

Silver eyes, just like Ray.

He looks around one more time for whoever left the baby, but there's no one there. Ryan walks inside, shutting the door behind him.

As soon as the door shuts the baby starts crying.

“Hey, hey, there's no need to do that,” Ryan says, and starts awkwardly bouncing the baby in his arms.

The baby just keeps crying.

“What do you want, baby? I don't know how to fix you if you don't tell me.”

Unsurprisingly, the baby doesn't respond

Ryan huffs a sigh. “Fine. Be that way.” He goes to pull his phone out of the pocket and realizes that, Oh. Right. He’s still in his boxers. That explains why he was so damn cold standing with the door open.

Ryan debates leaving the baby behind. But he's not sure how safe it’d be if he left it on the table, and he's not about to put it on the floor.

So the baby comes with him to the bedroom. Ryan keeps a watchful eye on it while he pulls on a pair of sweats and locks the weapons stash back up. Ryan grabs his phone off the nightstand and carefully picks up the baby.

 

Ryan walks back to the kitchen and grabs the silverware drawer and dumps it out onto the counter. He put the now empty drawer in the middle of the table and gently places the baby in it.

There. Hopefully, now if the bay decides to roll around or something, it won't just roll right off the table.

Ryan sits down and does a google search for the first thing he thinks of.

“Why is my baby crying.”

All the search gives him is a list of obvious things like “Maybe your baby is hungry,” or, “Maybe it needs a diaper change.” The one helpful thing it does give him though, is that one site mentions something along the lines of “if your baby is a newborn...” and it reminds Ryan that he has NO IDEA how old this baby actually is.

Ten minutes, a scale, a tape measure and some google searches later, and Ryan comes to the conclusion that this is _definitely_ a newborn baby.

***

Ryan spends the next hour in a pit of google searches on how to take care of your baby. He starts composing a mental list of everything he needs to buy. Clothes, diapers, the whole shebang.

Ryan gets up, ready to get going. He hauls the drawer and the baby into the bathroom with him while he brushes his teeth and puts on his face paint. He puts his phone on shuffle and props it against the mirror. The first song comes blaring out through the tiny speakers. It’s some trashy pop song Gavin must have downloaded the last time Ryan left his phone unguarded at the penthouse.

“Shit,” Ryan swears, scrambling to switch the song to something nice and peaceful before the baby wakes up and starts crying. He breaths a sigh of relief as the first bars of some Beethoven song come through the speakers. There. Babies are supposed to like Beethoven, right?

Wrong.

The world must be against Ryan, because less than 30 seconds into the song the baby starts crying.

“Jesus, what the fuck do you want.” Ryan throws his hands in the air. “You know what, fine. There.” He grabs his phone and switches the song back to whatever trashy pop song was playing earlier.

Of course, as soon as the song starts the baby stops crying.

“Alright.” Ryan stares at the baby and sighs. Fine. If the baby wants to be that way, then great. Good for them.

Ryan finishes up in the bathroom and gets dressed as fast as he can. He doesn't even bother attempting to take a shower.

Ryan grabs a duffle bag from the closet before shoving any weapons and ammo he might need that day. He zips up the bag and slings it over his shoulder.

Ryan tosses the bag in the trunk, before running back inside and grabbing the drawer with the baby in it. Ryan decides he doesn't want to worry about the drawer sliding across the floor of the car, so he takes the baby out and tosses the drawer in the back of the car. Ryan unzips his jacket and gently sets the baby inside. He zips the jacket back up and gingerly sits down in the drivers seat. 

Ryan turns on the car and winces at the the loud roar it makes. He buckles his seatbelt, careful to not disturb the baby. He slowly pulls out of the garage, and for the first time since moving to Los Santos, he's driving the speed limit.


	2. Vagabond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this chapter finished for a couple weeks now, but I haven't had a chance to sit down and post it til now. Sorry!

The Vagabond walks in like he owns the place. Shoulders down, head up, and a swagger that would impress Han Solo. His skull mask strikes fear into anyone who sees it.

The whole menacing aura is ruined, however, by the fact that he’s pushing a screaming baby through Walmart. He looks silly, like Ryan playing dress up, and not like the deadly criminal he is.

Ryan makes a beeline to the back of the store where he’s pretty sure he saw the baby stuff once. He spends the next 15 minutes scouring the aisles for the damn baby aisle, and when that’s not successful, he spends another 5 minutes trying to find a fucking employee.

He finally spots someone folding shirts in the men’s section. Ryan makes a beeline to her, weaving through the clothes racks as fast as he can. She doesn't look up as he gets closer, just keeps folding shirts and chewing gum.

Ryan stands there awkwardly for a few moments, the baby screaming its lungs out in the cart. The girl keeps folding shirts and putting them on the displays, and pointedly looking anywhere but at him.

Ryan clears his throat. She glances up at him and does a double take at the sight of his mask. She pulls out a little dixie cup and spits out a big gob of something brown. He gets a whiff of it as she puts it away and he wrinkles his nose. Chewing tobacco.

“Can I help you?” she asks flatly.

Ryan straightens his back and grasps at any scrap of his menacing aura he has left. “I’m looking for the baby aisle.” He growls.

The girl side-eyes the cart, where the baby is trying its damnedest to annoy every person in the store.

“No shit.”

Ryan scowls under his mask. “Why don't you make this easier on the both of us and just show me where the fucking baby aisle is,” he growls.

The girl raises and eyebrow. “Jesus, no need to get all huffy, Mr. The Vagabond. Its this way.” she turns on her heel and starts speed walking towards the other end of the store. She leaves Ryan in her dust, his mouth open in shock after being treated so casually. His hand goes up to his head to make sure his mask is still on.

The girl stops at the end of the aisle and turns back toward him. “You coming?” she says, before continuing on her way.

Ryan snaps his mouth shut and has to run to catch up before the loses her.

The girl stops a few seconds later. “There you go.” She gestures to the left, and there it is, conveniently placed next to the baby clothes.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” she opens her mouth, but closes it before saying anything.

“Something else?” Ryan asks.

She rocks back and forth on her heels. “Are you going to kill me?”

“I-. No? Do I need to?

She yelps. “No, sir, um, thank you, sir. Have a nice day!” she says before sprinting back the way came.

“Okay then.”

He turns into the aisle and is faced with a wall of baby things. Bottles, baby food, formula, diapers, and some word little brushes.

As soon as Ryan sees all the stuff, he forgets everything that was on his list. He can't remember a damn thing that any of the websites said he needs, so he just starts blindly grabbing things and tossing them into the cart. A few bottles, several cans of baby food, a can of formula, a package of diapers and some wipes. Ryan knows he read something about baby powder, but he can't remember if they said it was important or not. He tosses a bottle in just to be safe, along with one of those tiny brushes for good measure.

Ryan definitely gets more than a few stares as he checks out. The cashier looks like she wants to say something, but a one look has her much more focused on bagging his items than before.

***  
Ryan's halfway to the penthouse before he realizes that he should _probably_ let someone know what was going on.

He pulls out his phone and shoots off a quick text to Jack.

**Ryan** : I'm headed your way with a baby

There. That should be good enough.

He gets a response less than a minute later

**Jack** : ??????  
**Jack** : Hold on

Immediately after he gets the messages his phone rings.

“Hello?”

“What are you talking about” Jack whisper-shouts. Ryan can hear Geoff snoring in the background

“Exactly what I said. I found a baby, and I'm taking it back to the penthouse with me.”

“When-, whe-, _how?_ ”Jack starts, but Ryan cuts her off.

“Look, I'm only a couple blocks away, we can talk in the penthouse” and with that Ryan hangs up on her.

***

A couple minutes later, Ryan’s standing at the doorstep trying to open the door with his hands full. He tries for longer than he wants to admit before he resorts to kicking the door. Hopefully it's loud enough for Jack to hear, but not so loud that he wakes anyone up and they charge at him guns blazing.

Jack opens the door while Ryan’s mid kick and he almost kicks her in the shins.

“Sorry.”

Jack frowns at him. “You have 5 minute to explain yourself, or I’m kicking you out.” she says before moving out of the way and letting him in.

She follows Ryan into the kitchen where he unceremoniously dumps the bags onto the center island. He unzips his jacket and carefully extracts the baby.

He holds out the baby towards Jack “Do you want to hold it?”

“Of course! Hand it over Haywood.” Ryan hands Jack the baby and hopes that she’ll forget about him telling his story while she coos at the baby. He hopes wrong, because she glares at him only a few seconds later. “Get talking, Haywood.”

Ryan tells Jack about finding the baby and his adventures at Walmart while he sorts through the baby stuff. In his rush to tell her, he stumbles over himself and accidentally leaves out details.

When he finishes, Jack just sits there. “Wow” she says eventually. “Who do you think left it?”

“I don't know, but it’s got Ray’s eyes.”

They both turn to look at the baby asleep in Jack’s arms.

“Speaking of Ray, where is he?” Jack asks.

Ryan’s face falls

“Oh, no. What happened?”

“He's gone.” Ryan whispers

“What do you mean, he's gone?”

“I don't know! I woke up, and he was gone. All his stuff, all his weapons, even that stupid brown smart car. It’s like he never existed” his voice gets louder and louder as he talks.

“Did he leave a note?” Jack asks, voice full of concern.

“Nothing. Not a damn peep before he left, either.” he’s almost shouting now, but Ryan doesn't care if he wakes the whole city, he can shout if he damn well pleases.

Jack grabs Ryan's arm. “He's probably fine. I'm sure he'll be back eventually.”

“But-”

Jack cuts him off. “Don't worry about it. I'll look into it, see what I can find out. Now go sleep, you've had a long night.”

“But the baby…”

“Sleep.” Jack pushes Ryan towards the living room. “I've got this. Trust me.”

“Bu-”

“ _Go_ ” She pushes him onto the couch and walks back into the kitchen.

Ryan doesn't feel tired, but as soon as his head hits the armrest he's fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to put this in the first chapter, but if you want to say hi, I'm [achivemen-thunter](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/achievemen-thunter) on tumblr!

**Author's Note:**

> I make no promises as to how often this will update.


End file.
